Monday, October 02, 2006

Polish police hunt farting dissident

That’s the headline for what is actually a story from about a month ago. But they have a certain flair when telling it.

Many have commented on this government’s weak grip on the concept of some basic human rights. Well, another is being challenged: the right to fart.

Police in Poland have launched a nationwide hunt for a man who farted loudly when asked what he thought of the president.

Hubert Hoffman [of no fixed abode - and no, that is not him in the photo, that's the president], 45, was charged with "contempt for the office of the head of state" for his actions after he was stopped by police in a routine check [meaning, harassing homeless people] at a Warsaw railway station.

He complained that under President Lech Kaczynski and his twin brother Jaroslaw, the country was returning to a Communist style dictatorship.

When told to show more respect for the country's rulers, he farted loudly and was promptly arrested.

I am impressed by his self control – maybe he has a future in a circus?

Personally, if I were the cops, I would not have ‘promptly arrested’ him. I would give it a few seconds for the atmosphere to improve a little. But it’s come to something, has it not, when letting off is unconstitutional.

Ss, is a basic human right under threat? Is there a UN charter on farting? Call the human rights lawyers!

Maybe, in connection with the anti-government demonstration this Saturday in Warsaw, the beatroot should organize a mass ‘fart-in’ outside parliament?

‘The workers , united, will never be….phreeeeewwww!!!’


roman said...


Lol. Be sure to encourage participants of the fart-in to consume plenty of "golombkis and bigos" to get the maximum bang for the buck, so to speak.
Sounds like a great way to spend the day and let off some steam.

Anonymous said...

Better a little air pollution that a demonstration with a bunch of windbags whose noise pollution is even more damaging.

Hubert H. for President. He's a gas, gas, gas. (Jumpin' Jack Flash as campaign song. Hey, no politician is a breath of fresh air.

OK, I'll stop.

Anonymous said...

Has he been captured and brought to justice or is he still on the loose, threatening the dignity of the presidency with every step he takes?

beatroot said...

Last time I heard, he was on the loose and adding to the world's Co2 production....

Anonymous said...

For added piquancy, Kaczynski is famous for saying "spieprzaj dziadu" ("fuck off you old fart") to a homeless man when he was meeting and greeting the people of Warsaw on his quest to become president of that city.

The message is clear: you can abuse the homeless but God help them if they answer back because the law certainly won't.

beatroot said...

It's anti-fartism....

Anonymous said...

It'd be interesting if some enterprising journalist did a follow-up to this story. What was the punishment? How about getting a quote from the Twins? said...

Well, I do not actually imagine it is likely to have effect.