Friday, June 01, 2007

Tinky Winky is a fully fledged heterosexual

So says one of Poland’s leading sexologists.

B92 reports

Ewa Sowinska, who had earlier announced her suspicions about the Teletubby named Tinky Winky, said that her fears had been allayed by an expert.

"The opinion of a leading sexologist, who maintained that this series has no negative effects on a child's psychology, is perfectly credible," she said in a statement today.

"As a result I have decided that it is no longer necessary to seek the opinion of other psychologists."

But wait a minute: how does this sexologist ‘know’ about Tinky’s sexual orientation?

And didn’t Sigmund Freud say that humans – and teletubbies in particular – have ‘polymorphous sexualities’?

And isn’t there a more ethical point to be made here: isn’t the sex life of celebrities, like Tinky – not to mention his winky – their own personal business?

I wonder what Jaroslaw Kaczynski makes of all this

Stop Press: But the nonsense is not over yet….Public television TVP has admitted that it has cut out around one minute of the BBC comedy program ‘Little Britain’ because it featured...a…wait for vicar.

Yes but, no but, yes but….he was a protestant vicar!

Stop stop press
See a nice little series of short Polish films taking the piss out of what they call ‘Sexual lustration’…the sexual vetting of cartoon characters. The sound track is from a song by Elektryczne Gitary from the comedy movie Kilar. The title of the song is Ona jest pedalem. The joke in the title is that ‘pedalem’ is a nasty word for a gay man (like faggot) but exclusively used for a homosexual man.

So the title in English would be, I suppose:

She is an arse bandit

Which somehow, doesn’t really go, does it? But the little clips successfully ‘sexually lustrates’ all of the famous Polish cartoon characters. See it here.


Damien Moran said...

Congrats. to Tinky-Winky on the clarification of his sexual orientation - it must have been a stressful week. Though I'm sure he too some respite in the recent passing of Jerry Falwell. Of course it would've have been completely fine if it had been determined he was bi or homo, but he probably would have ended up with a smashed telly in his tubby in some Polish homes.

I wonder whether Polish kindergarten teachers use teletubbies for entertainment, appeasement, educational purposes in their classes and if they are now fearful of parents' reactions given the recent scare about the shade of TW's handbag? I'm genuinely interested and not pulling the piss.

I'm wondering whether we should call for a national Tinky-Winky Acquittal Celebration day where all of us males don women's handbags, prance around with antennas attached to our skulls and bounce off each others' big bellies???

I'm up for it - are ye in?

michael farris said...

I'm confused, is Sowińska now really convinced that Tinky Winky is _straight_ (that is, has she merely traded in one sad, befuddled delusion for another?) or has she realized that Tinky Winky has no orientation whatsoever because Tinky Winky is. not. real. (and is not a representation of any recognisable species on the planet)
I would mention that even if Tinky Winky were identified as gay, there's nothing wrong with that but that might make some folks' heads here explode, so we'll pass that one by.

The Polish press was living down to it's usual standards referring to the vicar as a 'gay priest' (ksiądz gej). I think one paper got it a little better referring to him as a 'pastor' but the whole think was pretty depressing.

And why the fuck did TVP buy Little Britain in the first place if they've squeamish nerves about anything? Another great moment in the proud Polish tradition of not really understanding English speaking culture.

Anonymous said...

Yeah bu' no bu' yeah bu' on the sunny side of this: although gay vicars are not ok for TVP, cross-dressing "ladies", gay-friendly villages (with only one gay) and gay aides to prime ministers apparently are. Isn't that progress, sort of?

Anonymous said...

I don't give a flying hockey puck about this thing's sexuality.

It promotes childhood obesity and an addiction to TV -- in the Big Brother way.

Gabriel said...

Hilarious video..!

Apparently, there is new compromising evidence
against the Tubbies.

Anonymous said...

Of course Twinky is not gay. He's purple. The bag is red. Not even J. Edgar Hoover on his worst day would try to match a red bag with a purple outfit.

michael farris said...

What color is his tutu?

And, he? What are the primary and secondary sexual characteristics of Teletubbies, anyway?

Gabriel said...

Vicar in a tutu...


First they came for Tinky Winky, and I did not speak out—
because I was not a teletubby;
Then they came for Dafydd, and I did not speak out—
because I was not the only gay in the village;
Then they came for Dostoevsky...

Sorry for fulfilling Godwin's law, but when reading on a Polish-Swedish blog that Giertych removed Dostoevsky, Kafka, Goethe, Gombrowicz (and he's not even German or Russian...) from the curriculum in favour of "Christian, Nationalistic and modern" works, it really... did it for me. Now he's crossed the Rubicon.

beakerkin said...

The whole thing issue is absurd. The Lion King was criticized by Gay groups for having a "gay villan".

The issue over what age to introduce the topic of homosexuality in school is a serious topic.

beatroot said...


I think you are not understanding something. Teletubbies are not humans. They do not have a sexuality. They do not have a ‘gender’ in the way we understand it. They are just cute little things that kids love.

It’s adults that start seeing things like ‘gay’ or ‘straight’. It’s sordid, frustrated little minds that project this kind of thing on Tinky and friends. It says something about Sowinska etc but little about the Teletubbies…

Anonymous said...

Dude, you're so totally wrong. Everything can be gay. To say otherwise is to devalue gayness.

Here's to gay unicorns!

Anonymous said...

I'm puzzled - so did the sexologist actually interview Tinky Winky to establish that Tinky Winky is indeed heterosexual and not homosexual? If so, were the questions in Polish, English or Tubbish?

Anonymous said...

For those doubting Tinky Winky's sexual orientation, just wait until the sex tape gets put on the internet.

Anonymous said...

Who said Tinky Winky is a guy? Maybe it’s just a big girl. A big girl with bad fashion sense.

Anonymous said...

So here I was at gay bar yesterday, when a patron with a high-pitched voice asked me if I wanted a drink. "Oh, sure," I said, hoping my fan would be a hot male model. I turned around. He was a model on TV, alright, but he was big and purple, with an odd-shaped triangle on his head, and, from what I could gather, a Jeff Stryker video playing on the little monitor in his chest. "Aren't you..." He nodded then let out a high-pitched giggle. "Jerry was right!" he exclaimed. "And don't even get me started on Barney the Dinosaur..."

Anonymous said...

All this joking around begs the question.

What kind of exposure to homosexuality should young children have vis-a-vis the state media and public educational institutions?

Anonymous said...

And for Beakerkin, a supporter of the presidential bid of Rudolf Guilliani, who above stated that the issue deserves serious attention...

Anonymous said...

BR wrote: "It’s adults that start seeing things like ‘gay’ or ‘straight’. It’s sordid, frustrated little minds that project this kind of thing on Tinky and friends."


So BR, are you suggesting that the gays that have been posting here about Tinky have sordid, frustrated little minds? Or just Sorwinska?

Anonymous said...

I wonder what Poland's stern moral crusaders would make of Australia's wonderful all-male children's musical entertainment phenomenon, The Wiggles?

Actually, scratch that - I don't wonder. Frankly I no longer care about anything that happens on the Polish political scene. If satirising Polish politics means having to pontificate on the sexuality of children's television characters, then I have bloody had enough.

There is nothing to learn here, there's just the endless wagging of tongues because out of the nine billion people on the planet, roughly eight billion insist on having their own media outlet!!!

I love this blog.

beatroot said...

There is nothing to learn here, there's just the endless wagging of tongues because out of the nine billion people on the planet, roughly eight billion insist on having their own media outlet!!!

And they can not understand that the media world has changed. They can not understand that they can't control the content of the media anymore. Blogs, etc have challenged the old ways.

Most of us bloggers maybe crap, but the freedom to publish now means that the state can never control us the way they used to.

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