Thursday, March 29, 2007

Poland to ban the Scottish kilt?

Apparently, kilt-wearing, pants-less drunken Scots on stag nights have been puking on pavements in Krakow, Wroclaw, Warsaw, and then flashing their naughty bits at innocent passers-by.


The Glasgow Daily record reports:

The good burghers of Krakow and Warsaw are sick of the sight of boozed-up "men in skirts" flashing their bits in the street.

And the authorities in another popular stag night destination, the city of Wroclaw, have become so fed-up with the badly behaved minority of Scots they are seriously considering outlawing the kilt.

With beer at £1 a pint and £50 flights from Prestwick, Poland is fast becoming a favourite destination for Scots stag parties.

It reminds me of the joke:

Englishman: What’s worn under your kilt?

Kilt wearing Scot:: Nothing, it’s all in perrrfect working order!

But banning kilts is authoritarian and so this blog can not support such a move.

Why don’t they just ban Scots not wearing any underpants under their kilts? It could be a job creation scheme. A new Polish ‘underpants’ police force, perhaps?

We could give them little mirrors on the end of sticks, like they use when checking for car bombs.


Anonymous said...

Why not encourage the Scots to visit Koniakow first and expose them (pun intended) to traditional lacy g-strings produced by local ladies (you recently featured them and their moral dilemma in your blog). Who knows, they might become an instant hit (g-strings, not the ladies) with our Scottish visitors. And it would make everybody happy. The Koniakow ladies would sell their merchandise w/o committing a sin (it is OK to sell lacy undergarments to Rangers’ fans), the womenfolk of Warsaw, Krakow, and Wroclaw would be spared the trauma, the city officials could sleep in peace, and the Scots could at last hide their little, oh so little, secrets.

Korakious said...

So, that means that so long as they don't wear kilts, Scots can flash their private parts around as much as they want?

It's ridiculous what conservative governments do some times.

Anonymous said...

Why not just make full use of the drunk tanks which all Polish cities have? If men want to get drunk and act like animals, they should expect to be caged like animals.

Martin said...

Flashing - Scots doing the jobs Poles won't do.

Welcome to Globalisation - well, what did you expect? That it was a one way street.

Unknown said...

:) Martin, good one. The ban reminds me of Turkey's move to completely ban YouTube just because some naughty Greeks made fun of the "Founding Father" of Turkey, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, by calling him gay.
Insulting Turkishness can get you into jail. Wearing a kilt in Poland too, soon.

varus said...

The next we'll here is that their has been a Jacobite rebellion in central europe.

The English tried to ban the kilt in an effort to placate the roudy scots. Not very successfull if i recall!

Still, the idea of highland clansman charging through Krakow weilding claymores is definetley a sight that attract the tourists:)

BEING HAD said...

Are the price differences for prostitutes in Poland still such that the Scotts would come all the way over just to drink and party with them? I read a different article about this that quoted the price difference for beer being the main reason. Also, if I remember correctly, in the movie Braveheart, wagging one's willy at the opposition was an invitation to fight. Obviously, the Polish presence in the UK has not inspired much respect amongst the locals.

After reading these articles, I am glad Belarus still has a cover charge.

Martin said...

"Also, if I remember correctly, in the movie Braveheart, wagging one's willy at the opposition was an invitation to fight."


Double sigh.

And sigh again in Gaelic.

beatroot said...

Martin: would you like to explain to us what are the semiotic properties of scottish willy waving? I need to know just in case I come accross one here...

Anonymous said...

I am thinking Star Wars, light sabres... Don't know why.

Damien Moran said...

That's the least of Glaswegian Scot revellers' problems. I read recently that the average age of a man living within 2 kilometres radius of Glasgow city centre is 55 years, compared to the Baghdad male who lives up to 65 years. It might be a good thing for them to cut down on the beer and greasy fish and chips, dining on some bigos, etc. instead.

Korakious said...

The English tried to ban the kilt in an effort to placate the roudy scots. Not very successfull if i recall!

Well the laws that effectively banned highland culture were made after the defeat of the Jacobite uprisings, so it was quite successful.

As for a clansman charging through Krakow, I'd definitely pay to see that!!!

Martin said...


Diet is one aspect of why life expectancy in some parts of Glasgow is so low.

But the decline in male life expectancy is down just as much to the effects of the manufactured deindustrialisation, and particularly the loss of heavy industry in the West of Scotland, which has been taking place since the 1950's.

State subsidised Polish ships certainly played their part in the decline.

Solidarity, brothers...

beatroot said...

Martin - UK shipyards lived off subsidies for years, and you know it. The reason they folded was because they were CRAP and couldn;t compete.

Korakious said...

Most big business lives off subsidies and other handouts anyway. The question is, who do we care for. The workers, or the fat cats? It is very clear whose side the Thatcher administration was on.

Martin said...




For I know nothing of the sort.

beatroot said...

Most British shipyards were not private companies. Neither was British Layland, British Rail, Post Office, coal industry…these were seen in the 1950s, 60s 70s as ‘essential industries’ and were loss makers. All of them. They could not exist without subsidies. That was the economic model in UK until Thatcher.

Anonymous said...

Welcome to Poland lads...

And one more thing:


I don't like Wroclaw anyway ( I am from Bydgoszcz ;)

Complete Lack Of Surprise said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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Anonymous said...

scottish people should be allowed to wear their traditional dress wherever they are in the world as we allow others to come into our country and wear what they want. Anyway i dont think it is the kilt that is the problem, it is the,irresponsible people that are wearing them and if you are thinking of making a ban on irresponsible people half the poloish population would have to be thrown out of poland!

Anonymous said...

Just to put things into context here guys,you`ll notice how the Scots national dress is reffered to as the `Highland Dress`thats mainly down to the fact that people south of Perth living in Scotland /wore/wear trousers,its the true men from up North the Highlanders who have always been The Proud Scots!!!

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